(Click here to read part 2)
Things were all fire and flames between Mike and I, for about a month… and then I started noticing a new pattern…
Our dates were becoming less like dates – where we got to sit together or do activities together, and have deep and meaningful conversations, and were more like sexcapades. He didn’t even seem to be interested in my life anymore. Our conversations always revolved around him and his life. He was also reaching out less; most, if not all of our rendez-vous were initiated by me. The few times he actually texted or called first, it was because he needed a favour, professional or otherwise. Then I would find a way to get him to see me; which only happened when he didn’t have “a prior engagement”, “an unexpected work-related Skype call” or he wasn’t “too tired”. He wasn’t even coming to Church anymore; or at least, he was never there while I was…
I had become a Mimi…
One Saturday morning, after I hadn’t heard from him for about a week, he called. His car was giving him trouble, and he wanted to know if my mechanic (which I had sang praises to him about), could have a look at it. At that moment, the mechanic happened to be at my house fixing my car, so I told him to bring his over. He was there in a few minutes.
While we waited for the mechanic to finish his work, we had a quickie. Don’t judge me – if you saw him and had the same sexual chemistry we had, you’d want to have sex with him every time anywhere too!
Anyway, after cumming he instantly fell asleep as he always did. But this time, I didn’t think it was cute. In fact, it felt very inappropriate. How could he just fall asleep (and snore!) like that, in my house, in the middle of the day, knowing damn well anybody could walk in on us?!
That’s when it hit me…
The whole falling-asleep-in-my-arms thing wasn’t as special as I had made it out to be! It was just his thing! After orgasming, the guy just collapsed and fell asleep!
That’s when everything else suddenly began to make sense. I started to realise how everything that had seemed special to me was just routine to him. All that charm, charisma and fake-concern were just a game to make me let my guard down so he could use me. Not just for the sex, but for many other things I had helped him with while he was here. He did this with every girl. He had done it to Mimi and, he had probably done it to many other girls too. I began connecting the dots. I woke him up to confront him about it. You should have seen me punching him in anger: the guy thought I had gone mad when he regained consciousness.
Of course, he denied everything; or rather played the confusion card. He said that “we never agreed to be exclusive” (eh, so he was seeing other girls?), that he wasn’t “ready to settle down”, that I’m “with Billy first of all” (I had mentioned him) “and I don’t want to be a homewrecker…” “Like really nigga?! So you’re just realizing that now?!” What about when he said that he was starting to having feelings for me too?! What about the Nairobi trip we had been planning to go meet his family and friends? I had even ended things with Billy, and he knew about it!
I was furious. I was ashamed. I felt naked, violated, treated like a dirty piece of cloth that you throw away when you’re done with it. It felt like I was doing a walk of shame, but for all the times him and I had been together. So much regret, so much anger, so much hate!
But before a real conversation could happen, the mechanic called from outside to let us know that he was done. Mike was obviously out in a second. He said that he would call, “to talk about this” but he never did. I never heard from him again; and I was too proud and too angry to “be the adult” and make the first step.
Two weeks later, I ran into Fred (his housemate) while grocery shopping. He asked me if I didn’t know anyone who was looking for a place to stay, and that he could interest into becoming his new housemate. I was confused and asked why. What had happened to Mike? Turns out, he had moved back to Kenya. He had been offered a new better position at the Head Office in Nairobi. “He left last weekend! Yani he didn’t tell you?!” asked Fred…
No, he never did.
Cue song by Taylor Swift:
“No apologies. He’ll never see you cry,
Pretends he doesn’t know that he’s the reason why.
You’re drowning (…).
Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street
A new notch in your belt is all I’ll ever be
And now I see (…)
And the saddest fear comes creeping in,
That you never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything (…)”
I knew he was trouble when I met him.
(Image source: blackartdepot.com)