…Umurundikazi

It’s been 5 months. FIVE LONG MONTHS!

When I first met him, he was the guy next-door. Physically attractive, but nothing too crazy (except for those lips, Gosh!!!) Custom-made suit, fresh haircut, killer smile, educated, smart, successful business man (for his age), believer, the whole nine yards… but WAH’EVA, I pretended not to see any of it.
Very friendly, talked with a soft but confident voice, a true gentleman, La Classe Quoi (but still ignored).

As weeks went by, as I got to know him more I realized not only his beautiful mind but what a WONDERFUL leader he is! Yes, the kind of leader every woman in her mid-20s is dreaming to marry, to not only lead her but to lead her home/family.

Then the unexpected, expected happened… The more I spoke to him, the more intriguing I found this guy. The more intrigued I got, the more I wanted to know him more and more and more… Then I fell in love or with the idea of falling in love with him.

Then the stalking’s begun… #ThyShallJudgeMeNot

StalkerAlert

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Google… I mean everything I could get my hands on! #GodBlessSocialMedia

I learned about his family, friends, what he likes to do for fun, his mind-set, values, principles, where he works, what he wants to accomplish in the future, who his parents are, how he felt about them (very important), that he loves writing and so much more………. plus the sad truth that he might have a girlfriend (Sigh). Don’t get me wrong, I only wish him the best but %*&^(&^* ^%^&$!

In the meantime, while all of that was happening (in my head), of course he had 0 clue.

As umurundikazi qui se respecte, I was raised to be shy, to never approach boys and especially NEVER make the first step nahandi ni ugushir’isoni. As I got into my mid-twenties though and got more confident I started to think outside the box; which brings me to the real topic today!

How far can/does a woman go to show interest in a guy?

Other than the rib-related biblical knowledge that we all know, can a woman show some interest in a guy without being judged? WHY can’t society understand/allow a girl to walk straight to a guy and ask him for a date… or a coffee, or just hanging out without the girl being labelled a b****? I mean how far does a man go, how far does a woman go for the “relationship” to start? There are sooo many do’s and don’ts that are hand-made (can give you a headache), and I personally believe that soul mates sometimes miss each other because they’re trying to follow those soi-disant rules.

Points to observe here (and allow me to vent a bit):

1) Yes, I know nowadays some women exaggerate. I’ve met girls that approach EVERY damn guy that simply says hi, and declare their love instantly like wtf? But how about a mature, honest girl (like me) who saw potential, and is simply trying to befriend someone (NOT getting into his pants)? Like my friend beautifully wrote here: Hey beautiful, | This Burundian Life

2) If we are in fact rib-related with my soul mate, don’t you think “I” too will know once I meet my Adam that He is the One? Perhaps my Adam has been sleeping and he needs a wakeup call that his Eve has arrived? Lol

3) I’ve met a few guys that clearly state that if a girl approaches them first and makes the first move, it’s an instant turn off. But why? What if this one approaching you today is different from the confused Shaniqua and Latoya you met last month? What if it’s finally the girl you’ve been praying for, who knows what she wants and is going after it? If you’re a man and think like that, please comment below ê and walk me through your thought process…

4) I was talking to a friend the other day, telling her about my situation…
Number one, she didn’t understand why I had not made a move yet because for her if you’re feeling a guy, there is no point of hiding your feelings. I mean, for her it just doesn’t make sense… she might not make it TOO obvious, but she makes it a point to let the guy know that she is interested. In fact, she is engaged now but when she met her fiancé, she made the first move. A few texts here and there, late night calls et le tour etait joué. The guy got the memo and he did the rest.
For her we live in a jungle, if you see a prey, il faut securiser la proie. Haha!

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5) On a serious note though, according to this Glamour Post interesting article from a male dating coach “The Top 5 Ways to Get a Man to Approach You (A Dating Coach’s Advice!)”, most men are terrified to make the move… Men, is that true? (You can be honest now; your secret is safe with me)

Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit here; but don’t blame me, I was programmed like that. As a man once said, “whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.” (Ladies can I get an AMEN?!)

So my question to you today is: What should a sister do next?

(Ni Valentine’s day bana iyi weekend!!!  #TheStruggleIsReal)

Stay blessed, and be kind to one another!